I swear you have NO reason to distrust me

Dear *******
I have fought long and hard all my life to arrive at this point today. I am trying to recover. I will be willing to give you my phone number so that you can call me at home and maybe if you hear my voice you might be able to trust that better. I find that writing mails does not give the impact of tone or expression and can easily be led to be misunderstood. I would be happy to find someone that will act as a mediator and provide safety for the situation. Maybe the police have people that can be utilised for such a meeting.
If the police wish to contact me then - if you provide me with a name and number I can contact them and let them know where I live.
I can only assume that is you that chooses not to revisit the past for fear of what it may bring, but as far as I am concerned there is nothing to fear and I have such hope that one day that I may be released from the pain of past and the overwhelming and enormous impact it has and continues to have on my life.
I understand that you that you feel it best yet I don't I feel it best that this is an opportunity to move on and clear the slate - so I may forgive myself and then you can truly forgive yourself. If are are human and you do have a conscience then take this chance while it is here. You can then perhaps live the rest of days knowing that you have put right what went wrong. I too have done many things and hurt many people in my life and if I can recover then I can make amends to these people. The one person I am hurting the most is my Son. He is eight now and I have so many things to apologize to him for when he is old enough to understand.
Please try to think of me in a way that has some compassion and not as someone that you see as a threat. I am only a threat if it is you that cannot see that repairing this will bring some peace to many people. Please have some compassion for me. I am hurt child that has still not grown up and I am asking my Parents for help. I am stuck in the past and will maybe die never to have experienced release from my self hatred.
With Honesty on my Life I swear you have NO reason to distrust me.